This is one of the most stunning, comprehensive essays on the far reaching effects of the insidious application of "instant obedience" to child rearing. Thank you for naming this so accurately.
This is such an impactful encapsulation of the reverberating impacts of the removal of autonomy from children. I relate to so much of what you have written but perhaps the three most connecting points to my own experience were (1) the dissociation, (2) when you talked about literally not knowing you're stressed unless you listen to your body's cues, and (3) that the true foundation for obedience is trust. Thank you for this piece.
SO well written. THANK YOU. You found the words to articulate what so many of us have thought, felt, and experienced, but came up short in trying to explain - especially in the presence of people who gaslit us and told us we were "going against God and God Word" to even question these methods.
On one hand, I feel sick too my stomach just reading this. On the other hand, I'm breathing a sigh of relief. I'm not crazy. And my attempts to do better with my own children are NOT (as I've been told) not Biblical. I want my children to fall in love with Jesus. And to be capable of deep trust, and have the ability to receive grace. Not to live in constant fear of either God or me.
I too have learned that attending to my physical body is a gift with information. I may not recognize that a situation is upsetting or disturbing, except I notice particular embodied responses. Then, I realize, hey, this doesn't feel right. Something's wrong here. A very useful tool.
This is one of the most stunning, comprehensive essays on the far reaching effects of the insidious application of "instant obedience" to child rearing. Thank you for naming this so accurately.
Thank you for reading!
This is such an impactful encapsulation of the reverberating impacts of the removal of autonomy from children. I relate to so much of what you have written but perhaps the three most connecting points to my own experience were (1) the dissociation, (2) when you talked about literally not knowing you're stressed unless you listen to your body's cues, and (3) that the true foundation for obedience is trust. Thank you for this piece.
I’m glad you found this helpful. Thanks for reading!
SO well written. THANK YOU. You found the words to articulate what so many of us have thought, felt, and experienced, but came up short in trying to explain - especially in the presence of people who gaslit us and told us we were "going against God and God Word" to even question these methods.
On one hand, I feel sick too my stomach just reading this. On the other hand, I'm breathing a sigh of relief. I'm not crazy. And my attempts to do better with my own children are NOT (as I've been told) not Biblical. I want my children to fall in love with Jesus. And to be capable of deep trust, and have the ability to receive grace. Not to live in constant fear of either God or me.
Heartfelt thanks for writing this.
Thanks for reading and I'm glad you found it useful.
I see a lot of this in my therapy office with other Christians.
Wow. Thanks for all the thought you’ve put into this. Imagine applying instant obedience to wives too😞
Sadly that is often the next step often including physical "correction". Thanks for reading!
I can relate to what you have written.
I too have learned that attending to my physical body is a gift with information. I may not recognize that a situation is upsetting or disturbing, except I notice particular embodied responses. Then, I realize, hey, this doesn't feel right. Something's wrong here. A very useful tool.
Yep it’s difficult to learn to listen to those “tells” and “voices” but once you do it’s very illuminating. Thanks for reading!