The Audacity

It’s been a rough year for white guys. Eric Swalwell was forced to suspend his California gubernatorial campaign after allegations of sexual assault and known predatory behavior surfaced. Grahm Platner seemed to be a lock for Senate candidate and had to bow out because of allegations against him. Recently there was the revelation of an ICE agent who had killed an unarmed motorist who’s record of mental illness and abuse came to light. Of course, in the past week the Tate brothers were arrested on numerous counts of trafficking, abuse and sexual assault. Even in the Evangelical world there was a recent story about a man who was convicted of child sexual assault being allowed by a church to violate his parole and be around children.

There is a real phenomenon where we are seeing men seek or attain positions when they should be clearly disqualified from even thinking about doing so. There is a real question from law enforcement to the clergy of where some of these men are finding the audacity. Is it simply a failure to take “no” for an answer? I’ve been a police officer recruit, gone to seminary, and been in the military and I do believe I have some insights, particularly because I’ve been both had “no” told to me and realized myself where my gifts lie.

Yes, Our Culture is a Part of It

There’s plenty of joking that is semi-serious about “participation trophies” and telling children they “can do whatever you put your mind to”. Our culture values people who succeed over obstacles, we root for the underdog, and there is no end of popular culture centered around the narrative of someone striving to succeed against all odds. We also culturally, as a rule, believe people should have the freedom to do what they want. We’ve as a society generally struggled to find a balance between good, aspirational, work-till-you-succeed ideals and unrealistic expectations.

However, we have to admit what we’re seeing occur with particularly some white men is not anything close to a “healthy” expression. Rather, we’re seeing a sense of entitlement that presumes, not just against evidence/personal inability but in spite of failure, a “right” to still pursue a vocation or social position regardless of qualification. One of the biggest influences in this presumption comes directly out of American Evangelical culture- a misunderstanding of forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn’t Mean it Never Happened

There is a toxic teaching about forgiveness that pretty much teaches that granting someone forgiveness means treating that person now as if they’ve never done the thing that was wrong. This gets particularly used in authoritarian cults and fundamentalism to control people because they are spiritually coerced into “forgiving” an offender (most often in power) and forced to “reconcile” with that person as if they’ve never offended in the first place. This gets extended both in Evangelical society and more broadly in American society at large as an assumption that if someone feels “sorry” they too should be treated as if their remorse entitles them “forgiveness” that effectively means they didn’t do the thing they’re “sorry” for.

This imagination of “forgiveness” overlooks the entire emphasis in the Bible on restitution and what is needed to restore community. This is where, because we’ve become a punishment forward society we miss out on restoration because things either get sorted into that which needs to be “punished” or not. A punishment centric society seeks to remove the offender from society and hurt them supposedly commensurate to the crime, a restitution society seeks to find a way for the offender to not only be restored to the community, but also experience the full weight of their offense. In the Old Testament someone who had stolen was required to offer restitution at least double (but some times up to 7 times over) what they had stolen. A seminary professor I had Dan Doriani pointed out how impactful and elegant this solution was compared to neighboring laws. The laws for literally millennia before the Old Testament was written demanded the loss of a hand or life for theft, but the Bible required not just the restoration of what was stolen, it required the offender experience the loss of what they took as well.

I’ll give an illustration- Some of you know I collect watches. As extensive a collector I am, I’ve accepted I’ll never own a Rolex. But say I’m invited to a house where the owner shows me his watch collection and low and behold, a Rolex I’ve always admired. So, when he’s distracted I just take it. Now let’s say I get caught in this “Biblical” scenario; I first have to return what I stole. THEN I have to work as long as I would have to in order to own my own Rolex. However, I have to buy that watch and give it to the person I stole from. So, I experience not only the loss of the thing I wanted, I experience the loss of having the thing legitimately and then losing it. Just like the person I stole from. I would argue that the closest we have to this kind of “justice” is “cancelling”.

It’s About Trust, Power, and Responsibility

One of the biggest things we’ve lost in the Trump era is the notion (I would call it “law” even) that the greater amount someone is entrusted with power the more we expect from them. Let me give a perhaps politically neutral example- We give sports casters (particularly live and on the radio) a staggering amount of power. They get to speak directly to thousands even millions of people directly. We know you cannot just give anyone that amount of power, we have to trust that person can handle that responsibility rightly. This means they have to be passionate but not hot headed, excitable but not unrestrained in their excitement, they need to use that power to call the game not grandstand on whatever they feel like. If they fail depending on the severity not only can they be fined/removed from the air, their employer can get fined or even lose their license for allowing that person on air. That isn’t being “cancelled” that’s being held accountable.

We also do this with doctors and counselors. Again, we are giving people incredible, even dangerous amounts of trust. Because of this there are lines that simply cannot be crossed because the misuse of that trust is so damaging. Some of those lines are so damaging, so potentially destructive, that anyone crossing those lines simply can never be given that trust again. It’s not that they cannot seek forgiveness, but the seriousness of that broken trust means they can never be trusted again in that vocation, or in many others.

What this intrinsically means is that when we give people positions of high trust they are no longer able to do whatever they will. This is one of the things we rarely talk about when it comes to high trust positions and that is those who seek those positions of trust simply are not able to act within those positions as if they do not have it. A professional counselor cannot pursue a romantic relationship with a counselee no matter the attraction, period. It doesn’t matter that in all likelihood had they met in a different capacity it would be no problem, because of the level of trust given they simply cannot do that.

I encountered this paradigm when I became a Marine. There is a trust, privilege, responsibility, and honor that comes with being a United States Marine. You are representing something bigger than yourself and even aspirational for many Americans. That means there are things you cannot do, standards of hair and dress you cannot deviate from, things you cannot do in either public or private even if they are “legal”. I was told ad nauseum during Boot Camp that if I didn’t want that I could just quit, and in a way with both my military services I left because I wanted some of those freedoms (I still stick my hands in my pockets randomly just cause).

The thing is there is a principle that works across society where power and privilege come with trust and constraint. Put simply, if you want power and privilege, you need trust, and that requires constraint both prior to the giving of that trust and ongoing afterwards.

Pragmatism Robs Us of Honorable Men

We’ve repeatedly made the decision societally that we can give untrustworthy persons power so long as they don’t break faith with US. In fact, we see the “rule breaking” as a positive because what we want isn’t the responsible use of power, we want to be justified in our self-righteousness over another. In short, we’re more focused on “winning” and “proving them wrong” than whether the person we’re giving power to will use that power responsibly (in fact we may not care as long as it gets used against our enemies).

The second way pragmatism robs us of the honorable is we keep the dishonorable in power which actually the honorable from leading. So often the “math” is that if this person who has done something disqualifying were to be removed their absence would cause a collapse of a church, movement, etc. What you’ve actually done is kept the “good” leaders from stepping up.

A recent example of this is Phillip Ryken and now the multiple cover ups of abuse. Ryken has appeared to cover over abuse allegations at Wheaton College where he is still President, and as a pastor of Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia. What has been telling is that the Presbyterian Church of America censured Ryken and the elders of Tenth Pres for “aiding the strong in preying on the weak”. Ryken trusted the abuser, trusted that he and a few others could “handle” the situation, that someone exhibiting obvious sexual predilections needed only “counseling”. This person was allowed to remain in their church employee position for over a decade until other problematic behaviors became unignorable.

Now someone who has so failed in a leadership position so as to not only fail to expunge a sexual abuser, but to lead an elder board in the cover up and lying about the same abuse should simply never be a “pastor” again. This is “never get a CEO job again” level in the corporate world. Yet Ryken didn’t just keep his job at Wheaton, apparently, he repeated his failure.

This is what I mean then I say we aren’t holding the “dishonorable” to account. Someone who has failed so apparently and abundantly, if they were honorable, would go do anything else. A part of demanding honor is demanding integrity and accountability and that means if you are bad at your job, you don’t get to do that job. We are now drowning as a society with men and politicians who are abject failures that simply need to go do anything else. This isn’t immediately a reflection on someone’s character (though most of the times it is), it’s simply saying, “You flew to close to the sun.” “Your capacities don’t match your ego.” Or basically, “You need to strive for lower.”

Clocking Who’s Never Been Told No

One of the best character set ups ever was in the Emperor’s New Groove. In a “flashback” we see Emperor Kuzco as an infant who pops the head off his toy. He cries and immediately twenty hands are there to offer him an identical replacement. In honestly less than 30 seconds we are given Kuzco’s character. Yes, he’s a brat, but his culture never told him not to be one.

This is so much the problem we have currently with over privileged white men. There are so many who have really never experienced a “no”. The pipeline from intern to political manager to candidate to politician is well established. Similarly, the trajectory of their “spiritual leadership” has in fact been guided by a parent who actually did the hard work of planting and growing the ministry/church.

We have to admit one of the trajectories of character is narcissism in a society that continually fails to tell a certain subset “no” or if it does, does it is in the most comfortable way possible. And let’s be honest, there are narcissistic, abusive individuals (men), who cannot take “no” for an answer. These same have to continually excuse or martyr themselves against spouses, jobs, and even courts that tell them essentially “no”. However, we must admit there is something else toxic going on with out culture. What we have is societal buy in to the same narcissism that assumes false persecution and martyrdom with no real oppression. What we now have is accountability treated like persecution.

The Audacity

THIS is where we have now come as a society and that is the notion that any kind of push back or accountability is now, persecution (and somehow always political). What is even more infuriating is it now no longer matters if the criticism is even FACTUAL if presented my anyone ideologically opposed it MUST be false (Or even possibly perceived to be ideologically opposed).And let’s be real this dynamic has existed on both the Left and the Right (but mostly with Republicans).

What we are wrestling with as a culture is the notion that privilege is GIVEN not automatically bestowed upon someone because of power, access, popularity, or some other measure of productivity.

The unspoken truth we’ve given particularly white young men is that if you can either now or in the future prove your usefulness your performance matters more than your character. If it can be argued that a person’s usefulness either now, or in the future, might be advantageous that usefulness outweighs their character flaws. From the star high school quarterback who’s grades are fudged, to the politician’s addiction to cocaine and under aged girls, as long as these persons are useful we’re content in damning them and whoever they harm to hell. The entirety of the “red pill” manopshere is about men demanding privileges of access, intimacy, and dominance that they in no way have earned.

To put it quite simply (white) men in particular are judged for their capacity for influence, not for the content of their character.

Yeah, We Just Need to “Cancel” People

One of the things we desperately need to be doing top-to-bottom culturally is saying to some, “You don’t get to have this anymore.” One of the things that has been a hallmark of MAGA culture is the demand for a platform or promotion as if that is a right. That needs to become a privilege again.

One of the things that I see that is encouraging nationwide is the anger against data centers and the frustration regarding public school management. People have been confronting politicians up and down, from town halls to the halls of Congress and they have run smack dab into the arrogance of people who haven’t had to worry about an election in decades (seriously some of these people are ancient. It has become very apparent that there are multiple generations of politicians that presume they are unaccountable.

Yet here is where we must demand, ANY job is a privilege much more so an elected one. We MUST be those who insist on a culture where privilege and power are accountable and where character is more important than pragmatic commerce.

This means we have to tell people to go get another job. This isn’t hateful or judgmental. You just can’t lose your temper and be a cop. You just can’t take bribes and be a politician. You can be whoever you want, just not this. In short, we need to realize it’s our responsibility to tell people “No” for both their spiritual good and everyone else’s. Sometimes telling someone “No”, particularly when they are addicted to power, is the most loving thing you can do.

Telling someone “No” doesn’t just save the numerous lives they might harm, it also saves them as well.

Welcome to the Resistance

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